Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
