So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
