Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
