I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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