We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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