It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
