so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
