It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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