I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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