2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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