so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
