Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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