No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
