Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
