The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
