the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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