I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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