Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh god it's open bar.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
