just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
