We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
