then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
