We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
