I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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