why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
vagina is talking i cant
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
