I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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