Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
