Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
