He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
