and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
