Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
