8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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