So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
