belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wanna passion pit in your ass
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
