do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
