I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
