You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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