there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
