I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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