I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this beer tastes like vomit already
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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