I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
