Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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