how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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