I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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