What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
