Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
