he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
