You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he was CRYING into my vagina
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
