there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
