Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
