a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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