There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
